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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Here comes the...

Its late
I just got back from my roommates wedding
and let me say, it was nice to go to a wedding where I'm not thinking the common question of "when's it my turn?" I suppose I've never thought the common question, but perhaps I have because its so common.

When I graduated from Wheaton, i was looked down upon at times because i didn't want the common dream of a picked white fence, a marriage, a dog, a van, and so on. And although i now Do have everything except for the marriage, I'm still very content without a man.

Which brings me to my next realization. I think i've totally screwed myself over with men. WHAT THE HECK IS MY DEAL! Over and over and over again, i find myself locked into a dance that is not what i want and especially not what i need. I suppose i'm not all that comfortable delving on the situation currently, but if you ask I will tell you.

I believe it has sadly come to the point where I've grown numb to relationship, and that is not safe. i want something more, something deeper. not good looks and a good night. I wrote a poem a while ago..i don't know where it is..i suppose i'll find it and edit it in..hopefully when i find it. but all to say, i better go to bed because i'm blabbering.

good night ..to be continued

2 comments:

Mk said...

I don't know what to say but I wanted to let you know I read this one and it was nice to read. . . I'm not single but I haven't been dating for very long so I know what you mean. . . I think for me wanting to get married goes up and down. Some days I really want it and somedays I don't. Right now I don't. Hahhaha. . . I'm content just dating. Before dating I was fine too. . . all my friends here were like "ooh, I want a boyfriend." I was like "oooh, but they're all Japanese. I don't want a Japanese boyfriend". I am eating those words OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

Don't worry. You're worth waiting for and don't sell yourself short. Never think you're too picky. There is no "Too picky" when it comes to marraige. There is only "not picky enough". Seriously!

Love you.

Lisa Goe said...

heheh;) oh..we Japanese. We're just so aesthetically pleasing (hahah!)

When it comes to dating, I don't ever think "oh no i'm being too picky" I more think "crap..i need to be more picky"

I don't really worry about me getting married or not getting married, I never really have. As i've been told "i make a great single woman" and I'm content with that.

We were built and created for relationship, so i'm excited more about the relationships that come into my life. And perhaps one day, an exclusive relationship will happen.

thanks for the "pep talk". Right now i need a reversal. :)