Chapter One

i’m unexplainably uneasy right now. its not like i haven’t been at my grandparents before, but i’m realizing i’m not just here on vacation. On account of my lack of funds, I’m here to be a roommate, as well as a very well behaved grand daughter. I already am a well behaved grand daughter, but its different. i don’t want to step on their toes, or make them feel uncomfortable, but as I look around this room, this room that has held so many memories, i can’t help but wonder what exactly am I doing.

I feel like i am pretending. This isn’t real. I didn’t just give my 30 day notice, i don’t have three brown boxes and a mountain of furniture to organize, arrange and be comfortable. I don’t have internet whenever i need and want it. I didn’t just accept a loan i can’t afford...which i am praying to God i can call and say “jk! i don’t want that!”

I’m swallowing my pride right now, and wondering if this was all a mistake. Why am i so fearful. what am i scared of. what is going to happen, perhaps...STOP! These thoughts must be lies. They must. I can say this, with the belief that i have on several accounts, received confirmation of my arrival here. although not a perfect situation, there is and must be a reason.

how fitting for me to arrive tonight, the night of the 50th annual Grammy Awards. The stars, young and old, literally moments away from me, as i sat in a couch with my grandpa and grandma. Would that someday be me? could that be me? What song would that be? And am I going to be an inspirational person, so much as to move minds and ideas into positive and righteous movements? And what a heavy responsibility.

What have i gotten myself into?