Donnie Darko..and other things

After many years of not watching the so called "infamous" Donnie Darko, i finally took the time to watch it, and i was, as i thought I would be, scared out of my mind. Don't get me wrong the soundtrack, the camera work, and the editing were all very appealing and I took it for just that. A great piece of Art, but i'm not going to say i wasn't a little spooked.

I never watched the movie in the first place due to some misplaced emotions i was trying to anchor down with myself, and watching it at the time would only remind me of the one something i was trying to escape. I felt in the last 3 years that movie just kept popping up as the best of the best and I was crazy for not watching such art. I'd always thought about renting it and evaluating it myself, but I never did. So, as i watched it tonight, i couldn't help but shutter a little bit. That dang bunny is so pickin freaky!!!

I guess you can say i've been going through a lot of transitions and watching this movie was a total eye opener for me. I've been living my life outside my normal lines, and have not felt "convicted", as one would say about liberal acts such as drinking and smoking (cigarettes of course nothing else) and not to say these things are all horrible or worth being convicted from, but it is what one does in the act of such liberal acts that could disturb some..and have lately been disturbing myself.

I have been crying out for God to help me figure all this out ( if this message seems confusing. don't be alarmed. i am SERIOUSLY all over the place) I lately have felt that rather than my hands being empty with full sacrifice on the alter ready to receive blessing, i've been on my knees with my hands buried deep and heavy with garbage. Where i used to not fear something as crazy as demon bunnies, my heart is literally pounding at the thought i may turn around and see something..ugh. i don't even want to think about it.


I'm traveling on a journey right now and i need to do this on my own without other peoples opinions, suggestions, or any two sense that would come across as judgemental or "life coachie" I need to find out for myself why i believe what i believe and how, again, to live by it, with no regrets, knowing that bridges may burn, but its all worth the cost.


Its late. i need to go to bed.