A New Beginning?

I ran down the stairs early to find a note on the dinner table,

“Morning Lisa! Grandpa and I went to Palm Springs. We’ll be back in 3 days. Call if you need anything. Please feed the fish and birds. June-hi is with Joshua”

My grandparents were such adventurers. This wasn’t the first time I woke up to see a note on the table. The last time it was Vegas. I hope I’m as spunky as they are when I’m their age.

I went to the kitchen, and the oatmeal canister and dried cranberries were already set out on the counter for me. The packets of to go miso soup and red apples were also laid out for me, ready to go for work. There were definitely perks to being a starving artist and my grandparents living in Santa Monica. Not only was the transition easy considering I grew up in their house, but they made it even easier with taking care of everything else. My laundry was folded for me every morning, they thought it was silly for me to drive to work since it was just down the street, and because I worked till 6 most days, I was picked up and dinner was ready as soon as I got home.

The one argument we would come across every now and then, was why I wasn’t working every day. “You act like you’re retired!” My grandma would say...but it did seem that way I guess. I worked in retail, but I specifically worked as a personal shopper/ stylist. I worked off commission and for working 25 hours a week, I made as much as some of my friends made in 40 hrs of work..sometimes more.

Other than that, I came home before 2 and if it was later I’d call and stay at a friends. Every time I met a new friend, I’d put their name, number, sometimes address on an index card they had set aside for emergencies. It was all easy. I never really had anyone over though. A few friends but not more than one.

This specific morning, I really could have used a ride. I slept in a little later, and for me to drive myself meant I needed to find parking...which for the locals who knew the free spots...this was near impossible.

I fed the fish and checked the birds, thank God June -hi the turtle wasn’t home that would’ve just been one extra step. I threw on some clothes and ran out the door. As I searched for a parking spot, I turned on NPR. “That was Rachael Yamagata. This is Morning Becomes Eclectic.” A miracle!!! A spot a few blocks away. This was going to be a great day!

I checked the sign to make double sure this spot was truly available. It was. I was early so, I stopped into the coffee shop near sur la table for a smoothie. The line was too long so I hummed a tune and walked into work. This day was feeling great!....oops spoke to soon.

Put on those cartoon screech noises...someone switched shifts with Roberto Lopez...the other personal shopper. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Roberto..he didn’t seem to like me. Since the first day I began working at our location, I beat his sales. He wasn’t too happy about this, so I believe, out of jealous immaturity, he gave me the cold shoulder.

I always tried to “surrender” but he didn’t care to notice. You know those people who like to talk about events in front of you..and they know you are not invited..yeah..he did that a few times. “Oh, I love taco night, remember last week you guys? wasn’t it great?! “ (silent peripheral stare of ‘yeah..and you weren’t invited’) I just don’t have time for people like this, but it never made for a pleasant working day.

It was busy, but I felt like i wasn’t helping a soul. It seemed every time I tried to help someone Roberto had already taken the initiative. I just give up at that point, and try to give a helping hand when I can.

This woman had several clothes on a table. I couldn’t tell if they were put backs or purchases. “Excuse me are these your items?”

“Oh yes! I’m so sorry! I just can’t figure out what to wear! Can you help me?!”

After a quick 30 minutes we found some great outfits, packed them in bags, and she was off. About 10 minutes later she came back,

“Lisa you were so great, and I don’t know if you want to be here in this store forever but I think you’d do great at Seven Denim. I don’t work for them but I have a friend who does, and I know she would love you. Here’s her card give her a call, send a resume, we’ll set up a meeting it’ll be great. Thanks again!”

She was off...I stood there looking at the card, looking at the door, looking at the card. Was this my way out?!

I left work elated. Jumped in my car and went straight to Hollywood.

Excuse me, I'm shy, or maybe I don't believe in myself...

“Do you have any cashmere? Excuse me? Miss?”

I had zoned off into some outer space dream world, “la la land” When she said the word cashmere, I heard her, but the tangible item was not ringing a bell.

“ why yes m’am, right...” I stopped. I recognized this face. A sweet as apple pie face. Sissy Spacek, I had recently found her daughter Schuyler Fisk’s music, and I loved it. So of course out of everyone else in the store I would be helping her.

I showed her to the cashmere, and hesitated a moment. “We can also order anything we don’t have here for you and have it shipped to your home, or if you feel more comfortable I can see about arranging it to be sent to our store for you to pick up.....and I love your daughters music”

Yep...it came out. the La in me would soon come out in me. Soon we would talk about how i heard her music, ‘and oh by the way I’m a musician too’ but instead, I just did my job.

“What do you think about this color dear? oh! but this one is nice too! Oh I can’t decide. Maybe I should just be basic” Well, if you need a basic, a lot of people go for the black, but I prefer the heather gray or navy.” “Well, alright then! I’ll take both”

I took her to the register and began to ring up her purchases. I can feel the pull inside of me, “Lisa..just do it. She seems really nice, I’m sure she wouldn’t be offended..this is your chance!!”

“Well, thank you so much for your help today, what was your name again?” “Lisa..uh..” “Thanks again, Lisa. Bubye now!”

“uh..bubye!” Dangit! Oh well. Maybe she’d come in again who knows. I went back on to the floor, arranging some denim, again zoning off into space. I looked around at my other associates. These people weren’t my friends. They were my work associates. We all had separate lives, separate agendas, and what was I doing here. Why! Was I here.

Before I knew it, it was time to leave. My grandparents usually would pick me up, but my friend Samantha and I were going to grab dinner and catch a show at Hotel Cafe. I leaped into her car, and took a deep breathe

“you okay?”

“yeah, i’m fine. Just needed to take in the fresh air..or as fresh as la air can be. Gah! I just get so....so annoyed!! I go into that store day in and day out, help people get dressed, and then what, go to shows and watch people do what I want to do? I need to get myself together”

“well, glad your day was a good one!” Samantha was always good about chearing me up, and speaking logically. Although she was a few years younger than me, she was always wise.

“Well, i think our production company is going down the gutter,” “well aren’t we a duo!” I replied.

We spent the rest of the drive venting about what was happening on our day to day, and then amping eachother up as far as what we could do about it. We both worked in the industry, and we were both..bored.

We got to Hotel Cafe, and waited by the bar. Sometimes Marco was there. He was always so cute. I had heard he had dated an asian girl. I had also heard he was cautious with who he dated as many would try and use him, so I always just looked from afar to keep things interesting.

As people began to fill the room, My arm was pulled forward. My crocheted sleave was tangled in a very tall slender womans handbag. “Oh I’m so sorry!! Are we going to have to cut it?” “ no no no, I think i can untangle it, I probably shoulddn’t be wearing crocheted sweaters to crowded places!” I was so caught up with untangling my sleave I didn’t look up at her till it was almost untangled...Mandy Moore. I didn’t think she was so tall! She towered above me! I looked down..no wonder. Not only is she already tall, she was wearing a tall heel.

We broke free from our entanglement, she apologized again with a smile, and then I just stood there....what the heck dude..really. Missed opportunities! The music began to play, and low and behold...Schuyler fisk was playing. I looked to the front and there sitting on the floor in the front was Sissy.

After Schuyler’s set, I said hello to Sissy, and with sweet open arms she hugged me and thanked me for helping her out. “Schuyler sounded amazing. I really enjoy her music” I commented. “Oh REaly!! oh you are too sweet! It is always so sweet to my ears to hear great things about my daughter. Thank you!”

Sissy was so elated I didn’t feel proper to talk about myself. Tonight was about her daughter....but I tried slipping a business card in her purse. Another friend of mine who was there, gave Sissy's manager one of her demo’s. Brave. What was my problem! As I began to leave, Sissy stopped me and handed me one of Schuylers Ep’s. ‘”Thank you Sissy. I’ll be sure to enjoy it”

I left with a bittersweet feeling. i was excited to be so calm and accepted by two celebrities, but I was disappointed in myself. Why was I so shy? Am I ashamed of my passion? no...so what is it...