oops! its been a bit!

Within the last few weeks i've been learning..a lot.

as always

I've been working on a self made music video of Killing me, which i hope to finish soonish, and in the mean time...focusing.. or at least trying to.

I've ben writing a lot with other people..i think it s helping..you tell me:) i hope to share something more exciting soon. in the mean time...say hello:)

What happened to Dido

I was watching some "I love the 80's" montage and there was Dido. She was giving commentary on something amazing of my birth decade. Since I watched this horribly entertaining show, I've been searching my car and electronic belongings to get nostalgic and dive into the pool of dido.

I don't know about anyone else out there, but Dido, went along with late night drives, pleather skirts (oi!), and background theme music when you were happy, depressed, or just relaxed. I'm thinking its about time I make a flippin 90's mix.

So Dido...i'm getting frustrated. where are you and can you help me as I write my next few songs. I'm thinking you could be the secret ingredient to curing my writers block.

Love, Lisa Goe. Can I get a witness!

FEATURED ON APPLE.COM!

yep..I did a background vocal part for some friends of mine, the Pseudo Rebels. You may be familiar with their remix of Kid Kuddie's song "Day and Night". For the music video we all went to the apple store at a certain time, and silently set up our "gear" at 2:17 or other. we all pressed record and made this amazing music video! Mind you we did get kicked out..but now its actually featured on apple.com.. hahah! how awesome is that!

Enjoy!

Seasonal Depression intro that turns into Bad Guy Face

I really really tried waking up early.
but as i rolled around in my bed i couldn't seem to do it. Back home in California my room is walled with windows, so 7:30 the sun rises and I am up with the birds! 8 am alarm went off..snooze..8:15 alarm...snooze. I couldn't do it!

As i finally rose from my slumber the sun just plummeted into an abyss of flat lands and i clumsily dressed myself to go to work. Driving to work same old story. what am i doing what am i doing. Rather than bore myself with monotonous thoughts, i carried on my day like a zombie.

I problly should have taken pictures but I did make a mean pasta...and really this blog is of no purpose other than to put me in the practice of writing ...and in all truth is keeping me from saying what i really want to say.. lets just say i have to confront a situation that is really dumb, and similar to my monotonous thoughts, i'd rather just carry on with the day and just blurt it out.

the problem is I'M TIRED OF BEING THE BAD GUY! why can't people just take major major hints and before it has to get too intense, assume that the intensity they're feeling is just that!! Do what i don't really want to blatantly say you need to do... confused yet?

You know what i mean though right?! Lets say someone needs to pay you back and your the type of person who doesn't want to bring it up, but you know you have to ( this is so not a financial thing..if you owe me something i'll let you know) you keep hinting " so see you bought like 100 bones of grocerys today...and you eat like a bird..i'm pretty starving these days" the person just looks at you like "yep" and continues playing stupid. So you try the note thing "Jon Smith owes me $150" ..but still nothing. So you know you have to put it out there..but you also know this person is defensive..and probably really doesn't care.

so you end up going bonkers! or maybe not.. i'm just at the point that i'm going to have to be the bad guy. I"m going to have to hear the excuses why someone can't do something because of "x" and "y" when i'm not seeing any progress and all i'm seeing is nonsense...gah!!!

pray for me..i'm headed for battle with a wall...all the while fighting against this lack of vitamin D..and motivation...missing tropical weather.

SNOW DAY!

So it definito snowed a ton in Nashville..so why not! I made a video and put a song I wrote with good friend Brendan McCarthy. Enjoy it!

Jes Hudak on AOL! and meee tooo!!!!

I had ...too much fun working on this for miss Jes. I'm near her derriere as well as the left bottom corner looking like a freak!! enjoy! and support Jes Hudak!!!

Done

I laid there. Motionless. Waiting for 4pm to come. I waited for the moment I would begin to get ready. Foundation, eyeliner, chap stick. Keys, wallet, phone.

Before 4, I moved around slowly. I opened the door to my sound room and looked at the pile of work that had been neglected. I sat down. Piece by piece I went through it. Opened my email to erase past junk mail, but it was never ending.

I looked at my checklist. Pay AAA, Sign up with ASCAP, update Myspace. Monotonous. I looked at my door that is left up for my inspiration. Its filled with flyers of past shows and venues I'd played at. Pictures of friends now famous from when we were younger and going to the next football game was the only thing on our agenda. 2:30pm. I still felt like I had nothing done.

I felt like a dog trying to find its spot on the bed. Circling and circling then plopping down and settling. Then to realize the spot is still not right.

4pm. Foundation, eyeliner, chap stick. Keys, wallet, phone. I pulled out of the driveway. It began to flurry. Here I go. Back to my job. 4 hrs of work...for a $600 sale..for $15 pay. What am I doing.

I walked down the hallway and listened to each of my footsteps. Characterized by my heal I attempted to move slowly. And slowly in my thoughts I crept into work. Speaking to myself. I'm done. God just take me now. Nothing matters.

Success doesn't matter
Money doesn't matter
Who I am doesn't matter.
Purpose...what is purpose.
What is finding purpose and once found what do we do with it.

I'm done. Im so ready to meet God at the pearly gates of heaven. Thats all I want to do now. I don't want to talk to anyone or explain myself to anyone. I don't want to entertain anyone, or prove myself to anyone. I'm just done. GOD TAKE ME NOW! I scream inside.

I don't want to take my life. I just want to be done. I just want to say thank you. Thank you Heavenly Father, Please Please Please just wrap me in your arms. I surrender.

Cuz I'm done. so done.

God Help me.