day of vegging

So i took the day to roll around in bed as usual. ok, well it wasn't like i REALLY wanted to roll around for 3 hours in bed but i really didn't want to call the Saturn Service to have them say, yay! you owe us $100!! yay! i can't wait to have no money again! woohoo!!




So after running around with my friend craig i went over to my friend Derek's to do some laundry. He and his roommate are out on tour so we get to watch their dog, Bowie, and enjoy some free laundry:) And of course a little cable...we don't have that yet..:)

I sat down turned on all the remotes and sat..for hours..and realized tv has gone to crap! so i dyed my roommates hair instead:)

Another day and another dollar

As I sit here awake in bed at an "early" 2 am, i look inside my closet that is slightly in front of me and stare at my purchase of the day. A short black cap sleeved dress with polka dot rosettes in the front. I splurged. I splurged a whole $26 and some odd cents. Splurge you might think? well yes. Its been a few months off tour and with moving to a completely different state and being rehired at my previous job for a few months, i also had to get the horribly bad news that I would have to take a major major ..and i mean major paycut.

The funny thing is its alright. The cost of living in Nashville is much much less than Los Angeles, but thats all i'm really doing...living. Staying at home, watching a few movies, eating a few potato chips hoping a song will inspire me to move and write it down, but instead staring balnkly at our fluorescent green wall because i really have nothing else to do and nowhere i can afford to go.

I had a friend come over last night. We had met at a show a few weeks back. My roommate and i went because..well it was free. It turned out to be a really really great show at this place, the basement. My new friend Ryan was teasing me a bit as I was playing the small harmonica around my neck. We got to talking, exchanged numbers, and have been trying to get together ever since. Last night was our first hang out that was more than 10 minutes.

It was great! We stayed at my house and a slew of other people were staying over so it just felt very full and warm and great conversations were definitely thrown around each room in our humble abode. Ryan at one time looked at me and said, "you don't like to leave your house do you?" I thought about it.....its not that i dont like to get out of the house, i just really don't know what else to do. Its cold, everything costs money, and when i have the people i love in my house, why would i want to go.

But Ryan did have a point. I should be out meeting people and hanging out not settling in and sitting on my butt. Well, i guess there's two sides. One side, i should be getting out and meeting people, the other side i should definitely be staying in and playing music, but! problem with that is, my creative times are really early in the morning. for example right now. I usually never write unless i'm in some place foreign or its really late/ early in the morning.

Whatever the case my life seems to be whirlwinding around money. I either have enough but i toss it here and there or i don't have enough so i'm forced to live paycheck by paycheck and not really getting done what intended to do.

The focus for me now is finding a job. and of course the industry i'm in..there's just no jobs available. I"m praying. somethings gotta give. as much as i enjoy selling scarves and tailoring pants...this is not my life. it can't be.

Donnie Darko..and other things

After many years of not watching the so called "infamous" Donnie Darko, i finally took the time to watch it, and i was, as i thought I would be, scared out of my mind. Don't get me wrong the soundtrack, the camera work, and the editing were all very appealing and I took it for just that. A great piece of Art, but i'm not going to say i wasn't a little spooked.

I never watched the movie in the first place due to some misplaced emotions i was trying to anchor down with myself, and watching it at the time would only remind me of the one something i was trying to escape. I felt in the last 3 years that movie just kept popping up as the best of the best and I was crazy for not watching such art. I'd always thought about renting it and evaluating it myself, but I never did. So, as i watched it tonight, i couldn't help but shutter a little bit. That dang bunny is so pickin freaky!!!

I guess you can say i've been going through a lot of transitions and watching this movie was a total eye opener for me. I've been living my life outside my normal lines, and have not felt "convicted", as one would say about liberal acts such as drinking and smoking (cigarettes of course nothing else) and not to say these things are all horrible or worth being convicted from, but it is what one does in the act of such liberal acts that could disturb some..and have lately been disturbing myself.

I have been crying out for God to help me figure all this out ( if this message seems confusing. don't be alarmed. i am SERIOUSLY all over the place) I lately have felt that rather than my hands being empty with full sacrifice on the alter ready to receive blessing, i've been on my knees with my hands buried deep and heavy with garbage. Where i used to not fear something as crazy as demon bunnies, my heart is literally pounding at the thought i may turn around and see something..ugh. i don't even want to think about it.


I'm traveling on a journey right now and i need to do this on my own without other peoples opinions, suggestions, or any two sense that would come across as judgemental or "life coachie" I need to find out for myself why i believe what i believe and how, again, to live by it, with no regrets, knowing that bridges may burn, but its all worth the cost.


Its late. i need to go to bed.

yay. a day off

I'm currently in miami florida right now, and i must say my brain is killing me.
I had a shipment come in yesterday of new merchandise but counting it and organizing it was for some reason a task. I knew i was going to get it done, however my brain was stuck on something. i don't know what. but it was.

The day went by slowly and because of Katy's early set we did not have too many people come to the tent. we packed up early and i headed to the bus. As i walked past the gates with my vip pass, i paused and realized that this small piece of paper around my neck was what valued me at that moment. i could do whatever i wanted. but i didn't now what to do.

It seems lately i have no idea how to make my own decisions..granted of course i do, but for example i could have continued on the tour rather than come to miami, and for a loss of what to do i came to miami....and i think it was a good decision. its strange. i just feel like i'm constantly second guessing myself, when i have the freedom to go and be free and not be tied down to piece of paper cased with plastic that tells me where i can and can't go.

Perhaps i'm not making sense, but i'm just going off feelings right now. I just feel constrained and strange. I could say i miss home, but here's the truth...i don't. Im miss faces and i miss the familiar touch of guitar strings under my fingers, but i'm loving the fact i wake up and i'm in a different city working.

Disappointments to this job, there is no room for any type of relationship. i can barely call my mom. I'm not saying its not possible I'm just saying even the people i meet that i may have an interest in, there would just be no way. Its too complicated. It explains why so many musicians on the road are so flighty. Sure the ideal would be to be with one and only one person, but the temptation is much more difficult and those who succeed, i give them A+++..and thank God i DO know a few.

I'm so just jibber jabbering now, but why not. if you see this call me because i don't even have a working phone. i can receive calls i just can't dial out.

Enjoy a few more pictures. I hope this finds you well:)



All squished in an elevator on our way up to our VIP Stay at Planet HOllywood. what!



Awesome free steak dinner at Strip House! Brother came. yay!!



Me and Mr. Markus Molinari

www.markusisthedrug.com



We had to make an appearance at some club that supposedly some of the girls from the hills were going to be at..but we didn't see them, and instead danced on the couches and hung out with a bachelorette party...meh


Making the 0 of 303 Nat, Matt Beckley, and Sean Foreman. Hardcore.


Tessa, Austin, and I in our bright pink tent. we are hard workers;)


Perfect. split self portraits. Bottle o Jameson and a cup o' noodles, What a delight. haha

what my day looks like

6/26/08

A typical day for me begins as follows.

Wake up when the bus stops moving (about 7am). Go out to the common area, grab the bay key, grab belongings from under the bus, get changed, drink as much water as possible, and start unloading merchandise.

Before we got space on the merch trailer, i was having to find someone who made the lay out of the warped tour merch space. This was a pain because finding this one important person could take up to 10 minutes..and those 10 minutes are priceless.

Now that we have space on his trailer, things are a little easier. I get up, go out there, and begin loading off our materials and pulling up our hot pink tent where the “lay out space man” has already chosen our perfect spot.



Day by day it has been getting easier, and Tessa, my assistant, and i have been able to eat breakfast. Some days things have been so rushed we barely get to eat lunch.



Now even though most people think being a “merch person” is easy, layed back, and party all the time, they’ve got it all wrong. As i stated before my day begins roughly at 7 am. My day ends anywhere from 10 pm (on a good day) to 3 am. I try to get in as much rest as possible, however on days like today, where i have a day off in vegas and a pickin HUGE sweet suite at Planet HOllywood...sleep is obsolete.



Off days are priceless because you don’t have to hear questions such as:

*What time is Katy playing?

*What Stage is she playing at?

*Is Katy doing a signing?

*Where is the signing going to be?

*How much is that shirt?

Mind you, answers to all these questions are posted EVERYWHERE.
When I say everywhere, i mean everywhere. We have them posted on the poles ON the booth. We have people walking around with the posted answers actually ON them. Its pretty rediculous..oh..and i forgot one.

“Do you know where Jeffrey Star is? He has a pink tent.”

Its like seriously people..serious. just because i have a pink tent, doesn’t mean I know where all the pink tents are..and p.s. look at my tent. Its pretty obnoxiously obvious that its the Katy Perry Tent.

uff..

anywho. for now thats whats up. and for now. i’m going to have a pina colada..no a mai thai at the pool. cheers

Dry Heaves..and NO thats not a band i met

Pomona,CA

Apparently all Warped Tours go something like this.

*Mohawks
*streeks of fluorescent and black hair
*HEAT
*Vomit
*Blood
*Cool stuff!

And i got to see it all. Day 2 began unexpectadly. We arrived in Pomona the night before and waited an hour and a half just to be let into the gate. Our credentials (visibly known as the "laminated all access pass" hadn't arrived and the security guard wouldn't let us pass...( I mean seriously, would we really spend a pazillion dollars wrapping a large tour bus with someones face on it just so we can go to warped tour..i don't think so)

We finally got in and slept. 8:40 am i woke up looked out my plastic accordian curtain from my bunk and noticed i was probably late. I leaped out and Julia the tour manager looked at me with tired eyes and no words were exchanged...this was our OFFICIAL first day of warped tour.

After running around the Pomona race track, we found our necessary "directors" and staked down a space for our Merch. Little did i know it would be another 4 hours till we actually got up and running.

Because this is Katy's first tour, we have still been working out some kinks. For example, The doors for the tour open at 10 am. Our merch did not arrive till close to noon. Once we got the merch we hadn't received a price list and on top of that, i had no money for change! so here i was under a fluorescent pink tent with a lot of merch but no money and no answers for all the young punk kids.

It wasn't long till i felt my self with feelings i'd never felt before, but heard of the symptoms; i was dehydrated. I had not water and nothing to eat all day.

p.s. its 3 am and I have to wake up at 7 am...this story will have to continue later or you can ask me in greater detail. otherwise , here's an outline

*dry heaves (got them)
*vomit (did it twice)
*mohawks (booth behind us was giving them for fun...and to be on the radio)
*bright colored hair (is everywhere)
*blood...i saw that today! (in San Fran presently)

a Brief: Katy Perry is blowing up like mad..to the point that i'm on tour with her andi don't even get to see her.

b. i don't sleep and i apologize if you call and i don't answer. i literally wake up at 7am and sleep right now..

good night.

DAy 1. its only just begun

Its night. i couldn’t tell you which night because i don’t think i’ve lived off the name of days for a few weeks now, and i’m sitting on a bus. A bus filled with food, boys, and crass conversations. Where am I? I am on a painted “Katy Perry” bus. “MySpace + Katy Perry” splattered on the side, and i’m on my way to Warped Tour.

My day began at 7:30 am. With Tired eyes, i dreamed that all the things laying on my floor magically packed themselves and i could sleep for just a little longer.

I pushed myself out of bed, and started where i gave up the previous night. I had to stop and get to my list of unexpected necessities; Peanut Butter, strawberry necklaces, baby wipes ( yes..for the darear). My heart was racing as i thought of all the things i needed to accomplish as well as pack my own belongings.

My grandparents ( God love em) had nothing else to do today and decided to join me on the adventure of collecting random things on someone else’s expense. It worked out perfectly, considering the day before my steering wheel mysteriously began to smoke from the stearing column...the wires must have crossed and decided to go aflame...who knew!

As we hustled around buying odds and ends, i stopped every few moments, trying to grasp what i was doing. I was purchasing items that would sit on a bus, with people i’d never met before, but were all genius’s in the music department. Well okay, maybe not geniuses but, to me, they know and have been everywhere a person wants to be for music.

VIP, Top Venues, you name it, they were probably there, played there, passed out cold there. I wouldn’t want to compare my tales to something similar like Almost Famous..but ..its feeling pretty close.

I’m silent. Very silent. Observing everyone’s manerisms and trying to understand where my place is , and where it is not. Trying to understand the rules of the road, where to sleep, what to eat, what to say, who to talk to and who not to. I mean these people know what they’re doing. One of the guys dads was in a band (i haven’t asked yet which one) and has lived on these tour buses pretty much since birth.

Vocabulary has varied anywhere from Shwamp Ass to Bitch Creek. By varied i mean, new vocabulary. for example:

Shwamp Ass: obtained from being on the road, and being unable to use regular toilet paper on the private areas. Also obtained from humidity, and lack of clean underwear. Cure? Baby Wipes.

Bitch Creek: A beer found at some random plastic black bag giving liquor store.

Merch: ( I knew this one, but some don’t so..) short for “Merchandise”

Swag: Free STuff meant for promotions.

So that is the vocabulary today.

I hate to say it but i’m kind of shy about taking pictures and filming everything, but its pretty fantastic. i’m so nervous. i don’t want to screw up because i would love to have some other type of job out of this...but i’m definitely feeling a bit like me writing songs is going to be a problem unless i can get out of my shell for a moment.

2 more months. 8 weeks. I suppose i’ll take day one as day one, fold over the nasty comforter provided for me, and see what happens tomorrow.

good night.

pictures to come. don’t worry...i’ll be using my free “swag” from Myspace...yes..a camera. WHAT!